I do not necessarily believe I have failures, but rather setbacks. Failures to me, are seen as times when you let defeat win. I do not allow defeat to every win. However; there was a time this freshman year when I fell off the wagon. I strive to be successful and succeed and at that particular moment I did not. I lost my way and could not find the pathway back. I had no one to lead me and I became a stray. I hit rock bottom and did not know which way was up. I rely on myself, especially when things are too heavy to handle. I do not have someone I can confide in when things get me down. I choose to hold my head high and pull myself together. I am the background for everyone’s foreground. I am that glue that sticks and holds everyone together. Nevertheless, I too break down and fall apart, which is what I did at that time. I made a bad judgment call that made someone dear to my heart give me a look of such disappointment. A look I was unable to shake from my head. This one look was embedded to my brain. The disappointment read was a feeling that was unbearable to endure. For once, I was incomplete and broken. Tears overwhelmed me and streaked my cheeks. Sobs escaped the ever-closing throat that heaved air. My whole world was brought down on its knees. For I question my every move, my every judgment. Loss of faith made my pathway seem disastrous. I was not sure of anything anymore. Not knowing how to fix it or move on, I was weaken and vulnerable. I soon lost who I was. I began to revert back into my shell and close myself up. I felt as if I was not good enough anymore; that I once seen as perfection, was knocked off her shelf and left with a space that reminded me that of that one mistake. I was hurt to my soul and damaged. Backing away from every one, I set out on a discovery to find myself. I needed my find myself again. Therefore; I had to act. I could no longer wallow in self-pity. My emotions had to take a backseat. I needed to grow up and realize if something were going to happen it had to start with me. It was necessary for me to pull myself together so I could be that backbone. I had to be that push forward and reassure myself that everything would work itself out. I have learned to let those who care for actually care for me. I do not have to be so strong and independent all the time. I could lean on someone every now and then. I have learned to be open to those who are trying to help and carry some of the weight off my shoulders. To those who took time to be patient with me and wait for me to open up, THANK YOU. I am extremely grateful for you. | Failure is the state of not meeting a desirable or intended objective |